Suddenly Rodney
by ImaginaryGoddess
Summary: Sequel to Kitty McKay. McKay's catsitting neighbour receives his 'Letter from Pegasus' and then finds herself in a whole heap of trouble because of it.
1. Chapter 1

This story is a sequel to my "Kitty McKay" which was originally intended to be a one-shot character study but my writing demon within, Boris, has decided he wants to hear more of this tale. Probably after it got nominated for a Stargate Fan Award woo! I was pretty psyched. It's better if you read "Kitty McKay" first but I think it might still make sense if you've haven't. "Kitty McKay" was about 2 pages. This one is already about 25… and this first chapter I'm posting is a long one for me (6 pages). I hope you like. Oh, and the title is based on "Suddenly Seymour" – a song from "The Little Shop of Horrors" musical. I'd really appreciate it if you let me know what you think of this one.

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I'm in trouble and it's all his fault. Him and his cat. Well, at least I like to blame them so I don't have to accept responsibility myself. I've never made the smartest choices when it comes to men but things are so much worse now than they have ever been. I've made the most horrible mistake and I have no clue what to do about it.

I can't even begin to say how much I wish he were still here, just up the corridor from me. Of course, if he were then more than likely I wouldn't have the nerve to ask him for help. It's not that I'd be trying to avoid the lecture that would follow – I'd gladly welcome one from him right now – it's more that I'm not certain I would risk getting him involved.

Lately, I've been imagining what he'd do if he were here. Would he step in and fix everything for me? Would he even give a damn? I think he would. I hope he would.

Especially since it's his fault. Technically. After all, it all started when a guy from the Air Force knocked on my door with a package for me. Inside was a DVD. And on it, a video recording. It was the man himself. Talking about life, the universe and everything. At great length. The man whose cat was missing him so terribly.

I was getting extremely worried about the cat. Her evening depression had been steadily turning into an all day thing. She'd pretty much stopped eating altogether. The vet had even referred me to an animal psychologist. Not that it had been any help whatsoever but I had to try.

The arrival of the video changed everything. Sometimes when I put it on for her to watch, she'll sit there meowing happily, 'chatting' to the man on the screen. Other times she'll snooze, purring as she listens to the sound of his voice. She demands that I play it at least once a day – with the same insistence other cats demand their dinner.

I guess I'm glad that although only a tiny section of the extremely long message was for me, they gave me the whole thing. It has the occasional strange edit – most likely to remove any sensitive material that had slipped out during his ramblings – but for the most part it's like a completely unrestrained stream of consciousness outpouring. The man had always loved the sound of his own voice.

Anyway, it's good that it's almost an hour long as it keeps the cat happy without bugging me by being overly repetitive. If it were only my small bit over and over it would have driven me nuts. As it is, I don't mind at all. It's not like I sit and watch it myself every time. It's more like background noise. Almost like having him drop by for a while every day. A visit that he spends with the cat though, with only a minute or so where he actually addresses me. Sounds like it'd be typical.

I like it though. Not that I'd admit it to anyone. I tell myself that it's for the cat but the truth is, I'm starting to feel like never hearing his voice again would really suck. So much so that – taking his advice funnily enough – I've made several back up copies. I don't understand it and I probably don't want to but I think I might like him. He's such a part of my life now – not just because of the daily video. One of my professors had found out that I knew him and that he'd been the one who had helped me improve my thesis.

"Ah, Dr Rodney McKay…" The professor had smirked. "I've worked with him before many years ago. Brilliant but an unbearable ass."

Still, the professor had been more than happy to assist when I expressed an interest in taking a look at some of Dr McKay's past work. Even though at this stage I barely understood most of it, reading through his published papers lead me to what was now my greatest love. Before my degree had been all about general science – with leanings towards biology because I guess it felt safe – now it was physics all the way, baby. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd be brave enough and sure enough to branch out so drastically let alone be looking at doing a PhD focussing mainly on Quantum Mechanics.

The universe was so vast. It had always frightened me with its limitlessness. It was too big. Too incomprehensible. Too much for me. I wasn't good enough. Not smart enough. Now, because of his papers and because of his words on the video – his eyes alight with passion as he talked about his love for physics - all I saw in the limitlessness of the universe was unlimited possibilities. And maybe that some of those possibilities could be for me.

I'm trying so very desperately to hold onto those beliefs. Especially my very tenuous belief in myself. I want to spend the rest of my life exploring the mysteries of the universe. I'm this close to applying for a place in the PhD program and it's crazy but my professors seem to think I'd have no trouble getting in. When I started my degree I had planned to maybe be a science teacher or some kind of lab tech more likely. I know now I can do more than that. I know I don't have to settle and it's all because of Dr McKay.

"Look, I know you really couldn't care less what I think…" He says to me daily from god knows how far away. "…but for what it's worth I think you have a lot of potential. Your thesis shows that you have a unique and insightful perspective on your subject matter and that you have innate grasp on some concepts that many supposedly brilliant scientists still don't truly understand. I mean it's early days yet – you still have a lot to learn – but I guess what I'm saying is that I can see where you're heading. If you follow through and realise that potential. Don't ever listen to some dickhead who says you're not smart enough – because I'm telling you that you are – and I of all people should know…"

He pauses there, probably distracted by the reminder of how much of a genius he is. From there his mind wanders to another tangent.

"You know… I had… um… sort of a dream about you a few months ago. Nothing sordid, I swear. My point is that in the… dream… I was home and you knocked on my door. You said you missed me. Which of course is crazy and would never happen in real life but what I wanted to say, I guess, is that it was nice. It's nice to imagine that maybe back home people might think about me from time to time. I don't even know why I'm telling you this… Ford, erase that part."

Whoever Ford is, he obviously didn't erase it. In fact he didn't erase any of the sections that Dr McKay seemed to regret. Those remained even though the recording had been hacked up in other places. Words and whatnot cut out so that some phrases were too garbled to really understand.

One of my favourite parts – apart from the bit where he says I have potential and the part about the cat – is his heartfelt message to his sister. It's disturbing as well, however, because he speaks of contemplating his own demise and hoping they make it through something dire. This bothers me deeply, more than I care to think about. He seems so sad and scared yet so brave in this moment.

Of course, I know now that whatever it was they made it through. A few weeks after the video was delivered, the guy from the Air Force returned. With a bottle of wine. I let him in. He was really good looking and seemed nice enough. Plus I was desperate for more news about Dr McKay. The Air Force guy was more than happy to tell me anything I wanted to know – nothing classified unfortunately but enough to know that Dr McKay and his 'surrogate family' were still alive and well. And for some reason they were no longer uncontactable. Semi-regular mail was now possible.

The Captain was my only point of contact with the Air Force and therefore, the only way to get in touch with Dr McKay and it turned out that after we started dating he was no longer willing to discuss anything to do with Dr McKay. Not that I was sure I wanted to get in contact with him but I didn't dare even broach the subject with the Captain.

He'd already made it abundantly clear that he was not happy with the daily viewing of the DVD so I made sure that the cat and I had it on only when the Captain wasn't around – which was mostly when he was on duty. As time went on I learned to also remove the disk from my DVD player as soon as we were done too. And then later to also hide it.

One disk had already been snapped in two so my backup copies were now being looked after by a friend in one of my labs at the University. She sort of bought my story about them being important for my cat – my friend though the cat's devotion to her owner was adorable – but she definitely wasn't impressed by the reason the backups had to be stored somewhere other than my home. We weren't particularly close though so she never actually said anything and I most definitely didn't tell her when things got worse.

Things started to escalate not long after the next package arrived from the Air Force. This time it wasn't delivered by my boyfriend, the Captain – it simply came in the mail. Luckily my boyfriend wasn't home when it arrived because it was from Dr McKay. Since he'd found out – by reading my bank statements for some reason - that Dr McKay was pretty much funding my tuition, he'd started insinuating rather nastily that I'd slept with Dr McKay in exchange for the money.

The letter read: "I recently received word from Professor Quinn that if I were willing the University has approved my appointment as your PhD thesis advisor. I must say that I was flattered but not entirely surprised given the direction your studies are taking you – and my exemplary qualifications in that field of course. Congratulations on turning your back on the dark side (biology) and finding the truth path (physics). Professor Quinn sent me some of the latest papers you've written and I was quite impressed.

"I am willing to take on this long distance role provided that you realise it will be several weeks between replies. If you have any more urgent questions, I've included Colonel Samantha Carter's email address and phone number – she's an astrophysicist amongst other things and would be the only person I'd trust to be almost as good as me – and although she can sometimes be a little hard to get a hold of – she'd be able to get back to you quicker than I can.

"I've discussed all this with her and she's also been kind enough to gather together some theoretical papers that I want you to look over – they should be enclosed with this letter. It will give you a better idea of what you're in for if you do decide to go ahead with me as your advisor. I can promise you it won't be easy – not only because of the distance but because I'll be expecting a lot from you. Don't feel you have to rush into a decision right away, just email me with your impressions and thoughts about the information I've sent you and the Air Force will forward it to me as soon as it's possible. We can go from there.

"So… I hope that you're backing up your work regularly and that the temperature where you are is pleasant. Say hi to the cat, maybe give her a hug or something from me. I hope she's been behaving herself (I know she has). There's a possibility I might be in town briefly within the next few months so if that does come about I was hoping to visit her – if that would be alright with you. Could be a chance to chat about your thesis in person as well. Anyway, look forward to hearing from you. Dr Rodney McKay."

Above his name was a digital signature, probably signed by him with a stylus on a tablet PC or something. His signature managed to find a balance somewhere between scientist scrawl and self-importance. Somehow even though it was just printed on the page it made the letter feel very personal and real. Proof that the man still existed outside of my television screen and memories.

Underneath his name was a short PS. "The food here isn't bad but it's nothing compared to your butter chicken and/or tuna mornay."

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that Professor Quinn went ahead and contacted Dr McKay – but I hadn't even applied for the PhD program yet and everyone seemed to be acting as if I'd already been accepted. Though, Dr McKay probably didn't know that.

At first I wanted to write straight back to him and let him know that I wasn't even sure about doing my PhD but then decided to wait until I'd done the work he'd set for me. Like he said, I didn't have to rush into anything and I was extremely interested in reading the papers he'd picked out for me. They were very complex and I didn't understand half of it. Professor Quinn helped me with some of it but he assured me that Dr McKay was more than likely not expecting me to understand it – more that I'd understand it just enough to ask the right questions.

I worked very hard on my response but if it weren't for Professor Quinn's not-so-gentle pushing I might not have sent it. I was more than a little daunted at having Dr McKay read my work again. Especially now that the stakes were higher. It was almost easier when he thought I wasn't that smart. Now that he was taking an interest and that he thought I had 'potential', I kept thinking that he'd made a massive error in judgement. I didn't want to prove that to be true.

In the attached cover letter, I wrote: "Dear Dr McKay. First of all, I should let you know that I haven't yet been accepted – or in fact even applied – to do my PhD. Professor Quinn jumped the gun a bit but even if for whatever reason it doesn't eventuate I would still appreciate any insights into the realm of physics that you'd be willing to share."

Obviously, that was probably opening a can of worms but I was willing to take that risk.

"I know I have a lot to learn but even if I don't necessarily have anything to contribute myself to the field… this will sound corny… but physics just makes me happy. It's what I want to do. So I guess I should do it, right? Anyway, as requested I have attached my impressions regarding the papers you sent. I hope it was what you were after.

"I didn't get a chance to thank you for your generosity before you left. Be assured that I will endeavour to pay back the amounts spent on my education as soon as possible. I'm very grateful for the chance to continue my studies without the pressure – and distraction - of needing to work several jobs to pay for my tuition. So, thank you.

"You said in the video the Air Force sent me that you wonder if anyone is missing you – well, your cat most certainly is. She is doing much better since the video arrived and she can hear your voice. Back to her old self almost. I'm taking very good care of her – as you know, she means a lot to me. I'm sure she would very much appreciate you coming to see her if you get a chance.

"Anyway, hope things are good where you are – certainly from the very little I know they're at least better than when you made that tape. And hopefully I'll hear from you in a few weeks then."

Since my boyfriend reacted very badly to any mention of Dr McKay, I didn't tell the Captain anything about the package from him or the possibility of him becoming my thesis advisor. The Captain wasn't particularly supportive of me continuing my studies anyway – especially since they were funded by Dr McKay.

I had figured that what he didn't know couldn't hurt him – or me. I was wrong.

I was still awaiting a response from Dr McKay, when the Captain was passed over for promotion for the second time. At least that's what he told me – I had my suspicions that it might have been more times than that from the way he reacted. Apparently being passed over also meant not being considered for some new posting he wanted. For a few days he was unbearable – especially mean and demanding. He even tried to kick the cat a couple of times but she always got away and hid under my bed.

I was so looking forward to him gradually calming down and getting over it when somehow he came across Dr McKay's letter amongst all my papers.

"What the hell is this?" He wanted to know – but obviously wasn't expecting an answer. "You're writing to this asshole now?"

"He might be my thesis advisor." I responded weakly.

"You're not even doing your PhD! Come on! As if you're even going to get a place! You do realise he only said all this crap so he could get into your pants. Not that he needs to bother since you're obviously already been willing to do him for the money! That is the only reason he even pretends to give a shit about your college crap. Plus there is no way Colonel Carter would ever have the time for someone like you! She's an important and brilliant woman! McKay has always had a thing for her – he's probably using you to get to her. They're probably laughing about you together right now!"

"That's not true." I responded, trying to hold back the tears. Tears tended to just make him nastier.

He paraphrased in a mocking voice. "Might come visit the cat – chat about your thesis in person – I miss your cooking? That's all he wants from you – a hot meal and a hot woman to screw."

I tried to just walk away but he grabbed me, shoving me against the wall. His eyes grew very dark, his voice turned quiet and raspy.

"McKay thinks he's so shit hot. I can't believe that spineless weasel is in the program and I'm not. There is no way I'm letting a geek asshole like him touch my woman ever again. Do you hear me? If you even THINK about cheating on me, I'll kill you."

"I wouldn't…" I stammered, the tears finally spilling.

Without a moment of hesitation he cut me off by backhanding me across the face and I slid down the wall, sobbing. The cat responded to this by biting him hard on the ankle. She dug her claws in to get a better grip as she chomped. He screamed and shook his leg hard to get her off, landing a solid kick in her side, as she finally had to let go.

"I can't stand the sight of you right now." The Captain snarled. "I'll be back tomorrow night… if you're lucky. Maybe by then you won't be a filthy slut." He slammed the door on the way out.

The next morning I was at the vet's as soon as it opened, almost hysterical with fear for the cat. To my relief, she was totally fine. Not even a bruise. The elderly vet was very kind and wouldn't let me leave until he examined my cheekbone –I mustn't have done a very good job of covering up the bruise with makeup.

"You should listen to your cat's instincts, my dear." He spoke carefully. "A man who is not kind to animals is not someone with whom a pretty girl like you should be associating. Perhaps your other gentleman friend – the one who inspires so much devotion in his pet – would be a better companion?"

"Probably." I agreed quietly, remembering Dr McKay's expressive hands and crooked grin. He had a temper too but with him it was all bluster. It was almost cute. I shook myself. What was I thinking? The Captain would go nuts if I even continued corresponding with Dr McKay.

Even so, the cat and I went home and watched the DVD together a couple of times. She was extra affectionate as I sat there thinking about things. Dreading the Captain's return that night, I made up my mind that I was going to break up with him.

Unfortunately, all that ended up getting broken that night was my wrist.

So now, I'm sitting here in front of my computer – the one Dr McKay fixed and upgraded for me so long ago – with my arm still in a cast and fresh bruises on my face. My ribs are sore and I'm terrified. Not because the Captain is due back in a few hours but because there is a new email in my inbox and it's from Dr McKay.


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, thanks for all the reviews! So exciting! Glad you're all enjoying this so far. Got heaps more to come. And people will get named when Boris is good and ready… hehe.

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I don't know that I want to know what he's written. What if he completely pans my work? What if he's written to say that he was mistaken? That I don't have any potential and he no longer is interested in being my advisor? What if he tells me to give up physics? What if he says I'm not good enough?

Even more daunting, what if he says I am.

The thing is, I can't sit here staring at this unopened email all day. I know I have to read it before my boyfriend gets back. Then I'll have to delete it. Right after I forward it to my secret hotmail account that I never check from home. It's where I store the emails I want to keep because I don't dare leave them on this computer. If I did, there's a chance that the Captain will see them. Most definitely I do not want him to find anything from Dr McKay.

The message is staring back at me, all bold and demanding attention – so like the person who sent it that it makes me smile. I double click it before I can change my mind. I'm running out of time after all.

"Why the hell haven't you applied yet?" The email begins, I can almost hear his lecture voice from here. "That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. You say you love physics and it's what you want to do so do it already. Can't be simpler than that.

"You certainly don't have any financial reasons not to do your PhD since you're on the ol' McKay Scholarship. And that's what it is – a scholarship not a loan. You don't have to pay it back. Ever. No arguments. I don't have the need for much money where I am now yet I'm still getting paid the big bucks. Besides, I really don't want my cat being looked after by someone without a proper education. Plus, I'm sure I can work it as a tax write-off anyway.

"So, having said that, I've contacted Professor Quinn and I have no doubt he'll be completing your application paperwork on your behalf as we speak. I figure all you'll have to do is go sign them. If they don't accept you then they're all morons – especially since they should be grateful to have a student with me as an advisor. Professor Quinn assured me in his original letter that the paperwork is just a formality, however, so I guess I won't need to go rushing out and start McKay University even though I'm sure it would be most prestigious and very exclusive as well as turning out the greatest scientific minds the world has ever seen! But I digress…

"I've attached some notes – basically my response to your response – where you went right and wrong and what areas I feel you need to focus on. Colonel Carter was as impressed as I with your response to the papers I set for you. Which is a good thing because now she'll be even more willing to help me out with getting other reading materials to you. Speaking of which, I emailed her my latest list for you and she'll be in contact soon.

"I have no idea how much of that video they sent you and I probably don't want to know. I'm sure the cat is doing just fine without me but it was very kind of you to say otherwise. I certainly miss her and the plans for the visit home become more definite every day so I'm very much looking forward to seeing her. As soon as the powers that be give the go ahead we'll be on our way back so it could be pretty much any day now but most likely before the end of this month. APPLY TO DO YOUR PhD ALREADY! I don't want to come back and hear that you chickened out. See you soon."

I read it about ten times, committing it to memory before forwarding a copy to my hotmail account and deleting the original. I hug myself gently, mindful of my sore ribs. Dr McKay is coming home.

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A few days later there is a knock on the door. I flinch, heart pounding. The Captain is here and I'm desperate to avoid anything that will set him off. If it's Dr McKay then I'm in serious trouble.

"You gonna get that?" The Captain yells from the kitchen where he's probably checking up that what I'm cooking is worthy of him. His tone implies an unspoken 'bitch' at the end of his sentence.

I take a few deep breaths and open the door. Outside is a tall, friendly-looking woman with short blonde hair. I notice her blue eyes and ready smile. For some reason I remember Dr McKay rambling about hot blondes with short hair and so I'm only half surprised when she introduces herself.

"Hi, I'm Colonel Samantha Carter. Dr Rodney McKay might have mentioned I would be stopping by?" She holds up the stack of papers in her arms with a grin. "Hope it's not too early in the day for you. I was just in the area so I thought I'd chance it."

"Um, yes." I'm panicking. As much as I definitely want the next lot of papers from Dr McKay, I have to get her out of here. "It is really good to meet you but, uh, yeah, now's not really a good time. Could you maybe stop back after lunch? Or I could meet you somewhere? I'd really love to have a proper chat but…"

"Who is it?" The Captain stalks out of the kitchen, probably annoyed that it's taking me so long to get back to cooking his breakfast. He stops as he catches sight of the attractive woman at the door. I can't be bothered to be jealous as his eyes widen and a slow grin climbs up his face.

"Colonel Carter!" The Captain exclaims as he practically runs up to salute her.

"At ease, Captain." Colonel Carter waves a hand. "I didn't realise you'd be here."

"I met the little woman here when I delivered Dr McKay's video message, ma'am. We've been together ever since, haven't we, honey?"

"Yeah." I wince as he squeezes me, my ribs are still painful. I think she notices. Those intelligent eyes don't look like they'd miss much.

As I direct Colonel Carter to sit down, I observe how my boyfriend is miraculously changing from a domineering and vicious control freak into a subservient adoring puppy, desperately eager to please this woman. And I hate her for it. Not that it's her fault, she certainly isn't encouraging him. If anything his enthusiasm seems to make her uncomfortable.

"How did you break your wrist?" She asks me conversationally, after declining all of the Captain's offers of drinks and/or breakfast. I find it interesting that she knows it's my wrist and not my arm. My fellow students and professors have pretty much all assumed it's my arm. Not that it matters either way. It's broken, it hurts and having a cast sucks.

I am proud of the way I answer so calmly, avoiding the Captain's eyes. "I fell. Put my arm out to stop myself… and yeah."

Technically it's the truth too. I just left out the part where I fell because my boyfriend hit me in a jealous rage – partly because he desperately wants to be a part of whatever 'program' it is that Colonel Carter and Dr Mckay are in. He keeps getting passed over and I like to imagine it has something to with his psych evaluation. A man like that should not be carrying a gun.

"Bummer." Colonel Carter replies, sympathetically. "You hurt your ribs too? When you fell? I've done that and it hurts like hell."

She's looking at me very directly and I want to beg her to please let it go.

"Yes." I reply quietly instead. "When I fell."

Again, it's sort of the truth. In that I fell and then he kicked me.

The Captain speaks up quickly. "My woman has always been a bit clumsy, ma'am, but what can you do? Wrap her up in cotton wool? I do what I can to take care of her."

I resist the urge to stare at him incredulously.

"So, Colonel, to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?" The Captain perches on the arm of the lounge where I'm sitting, one hand lazily grasping the back of my neck in a gesture that probably looks affectionate but actually kind of hurts. I find myself irritated that he assumes her visit has anything to do with him – especially since she didn't even know we were dating.

The cat, deciding that she was probably safe from the Captain at the moment, starts winding herself around Colonel Carter's legs. I am pleased with the way she smiles at this.

"Hey… aren't you a sweetie?" Colonel Carter leans forward to stroke the cat. She looks up at me. "Is it okay if I pick her up?"

"Absolutely." I smile.

The cat curls up on the woman's lap, purring furiously as Colonel Carter's fingers find all the good spots to scratch. The looks she's throwing the Captain are extremely smug.

"What's her name?"

"Melisma."

"Stupid name, don't you think, ma'am." The Captain curls a lip. "But it's not our cat so what can you do?"

"I think its pretty." Colonel Carter shrugs. "It's a musical term, isn't it?"

"Yes. One syllable sung across several different notes."

"Lovely."

I'm starting to get the impression that Colonel Carter is not in any hurry to leave. Despite my urgings before. She's not even in a hurry to get to why she is here. She hasn't answered the Captain's question. Even though she has the luxury of being a much higher rank than the Captain, I get the feeling that outside of orders she doesn't bend easily to the will of others. Unlike myself obviously. I both admire and resent her for that.

We sit in silence for a while as Colonel Carter continues happily bonding with the cat. If she notices the tension growing in the air she seems content to ignore it for now. My gaze goes to the papers sitting next to Colonel Carter on the couch. I try to ignore the growing pressure on my neck.

"Don't let me keep you from your breakfast, Captain." She looks up suddenly. "You're on duty very soon, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am." The Captain isn't happy. He's being dismissed.

"I should go finish cooking…" I go to stand up but her fingers catch my unbroken wrist.

"I'm sure the Captain is capable of doing that." She says pleasantly. "Aren't you, Captain?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'll have some buttered toast actually, if you have enough time. How about you?" She turns to me.

"Um…" I pause, the Captain's eyes are very dark. "Nothing for me, thanks."

He nods and heads to the kitchen. I think I've given the right answer. Perhaps he won't be so hard on me when she leaves. Although, I'm getting the impression that she intends to stay until after the Captain has gone to work and I think that he won't be happy about that at all. So I could be in big trouble when he gets back tonight.

Unfortunately, I don't see any way out of this. All I can do is endure the aftermath when or if it comes. It's a shame because I was really hoping to do some more recovering before the next beating. Belatedly, I realise that since I wasn't expecting visitors this morning I haven't yet covered up any of the bruises on my face. Maybe she'll assume I also got them in the fall. And they are related to the fall after all.

"So…" She says casually. Quietly. "It must have been hard on him being passed over for promotion yet again." Her voice doesn't sound particularly sympathetic.

"I'm sure the Air Force knows what it's doing." I reply. Very quietly. I'm fairly certain that the Captain's ears will be straining from the kitchen to hear what we're saying.

"You must be looking forward to getting into these?" She grins, indicating the papers beside her.

I nod, smiling. "I really am." The stack is thick. I feel a slight thrill, which dulls the tension in my body.

"I thought I'd drop them by in person so we could meet properly."

"I appreciate that."

"Even though it's not really a good time?" She asks, a small smile on her face.

"You know… just breakfast… it's okay."

"And you're not hungry?"

"Not really, no. I was cooking for him."

"So you have time to chat about the latest stuff you sent Dr McKay and maybe I can take you through some of this new information?"

"Yeah, I guess. Yes. That'd be really good." I decide that since I'm probably already going to be in trouble with the Captain, I may as well make it worth it.

"Oh, and Dr McKay has arrived back in town but he's tied up with things at the moment. Probably won't be able to make it back to his apartment for a few days."

"Oh." I blink a few times. "You've seen him?"

"Yeah. I've been in a few meetings with him since his return."

"How… um… how is he?"

Colonel Carter looks kind of surprised at my question. Probably because she can tell I genuinely want to know. It's not just conversational.

"Knowing McKay, he's probably having the time of his life bragging about all his supposed achievements." The Captain walks in, depositing a plate of toast and a cup of coffee in front of Colonel Carter.

I feel a little bitter that it seems to be just the way she takes it – as she doesn't ask for cream or sugar and he doesn't offer any. It has been a really long time since the Captain did anything remotely nice for me – not even something as small as making me a cup of coffee.

Colonel Carter doesn't seem particularly pleased with the Captain's assessment of Dr McKay. I find his comment more than a little inappropriate since as far as I know Colonel Carter and Dr McKay could be friends as well as colleagues. I know he thinks a great deal of her. It just seems to me a kind of risky thing to say to a superior officer about one of her contemporaries.

She graciously ignores his comment and focuses on me. "He's good. Enjoying the attention. I know he's looking forward to talking with you about your PhD when he gets some free time. He even contacted your professor to make sure your application was in."

I stop breathing. I am immensely grateful that the Captain hadn't yet returned to sitting on the arm of the lounge near me. Otherwise I'm sure I would have ended up with some fingertip shaped bruises on my neck. As it was I can feel his eyes burning into me. I know that if Colonel Carter wasn't here I'd probably be bleeding by now.

However, as I risk looking at him I start to worry that her presence won't stop him. He takes a step towards me and I look away quickly not wanting to see it coming. Surely he won't be that stupid. Please let him not be that stupid. Though in the end it would probably be better to happen now than later when I'm alone with him.

I don't know if Colonel Carter has noticed the escalated tension in the room but I think she'd have to be pretty blind not to. The Captain is just on the edge of losing control. I can tell. Even though he hasn't yet said anything.

"Oh." Colonel Carter speaks up brightly, deliberately looking at her watch. "You're on duty in twenty minutes, Captain. Better get moving."

He stares at her like he's only just remembered that she's still here. Then he blinks. "Yes, ma'am."

I stay as still as possible as he approaches me again. I try not to flinch. I try to breathe. He pulls me reasonably gently to my feet. Not being particularly careful of my ribs, he plants a goodbye kiss on me with an inappropriate and most unwelcome amount of tongue.

"See you tonight." He breathes in my ear and I feel faint.

It's not till he's out the door and I hear his car starting that I finally feel like I can breathe again.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm SO glad that people are enjoying this as much as I am. Here's some more...

* * *

"You know…" Colonel Carter says casually. "If you're ever feeling particularly clumsy in the future, call me. Like if you think you might have another 'fall'."

I can't meet her gaze. "Thanks, Colonel Carter, but it's fine."

"Call me Sam. And I think your wrist, ribs and face tell a different story."

"I don't really want to talk about it. It was just a stupid fall."

"Okay. Did you at least get your ribs checked when you got your wrist plastered?"

I shake my head, staring at my cast. The Captain had only taken me to the ER in the first place because my wrist was deformed and he couldn't deny that it was broken. And he was very annoyed at having to take me. I wasn't going to cause more problems by telling anyone about my ribs and keeping him at the ER any longer than necessary. He'd charmed all the nurses and even the male doctor who set my wrist, so no-one asked me any difficult questions despite the bruises on my face.

"Would you mind if I had a quick look?" Sam asks, her eyes are very blue as I finally look up at her. "I'm not a medical doctor but I've had some field medic training."

"Okay." I agree. It's easier to agree because I know she probably won't stop pushing until I give in.

Her fingers are gentle as she lifts my top up just enough to examine the slight discolouration on my side. She presses lightly around the area and I hiss through my teeth because it really hurts. She wrinkles her brow apologetically and practically winces in sympathy. Eventually she pulls my top down again.

"I pretty sure they're just bruised. Probably worth getting an x-ray just to be certain there are no fissures."

"Maybe. I'll see how I go."

Sam finally drops the subject and we spend a blissful couple of hours talking about the love of my life. Physics. Sam is brilliant. She also seems to understand quite well what level I'm at and explains things so easily. I wonder if Dr McKay will be quite so accommodating. I have a feeling that he'll be a lot tougher and less patient but I'm not really worried. I probably need someone pushing me to do better all the time. Better than I think I can.

However, Sam is definitely going to be a great person to go to when I have questions while I'm waiting for responses from Dr McKay. Plus she'll be good backup in case I don't understand something the way Dr McKay explains it. Two brilliant minds for me to pick. I'm totally going to love this. If I make it through tonight. And the next day. And the day after that.

Sam eventually has to leave. She's a busy, important woman. I like her. I want to be like her. She has so much confidence.

"Don't forget…" She says at the door. "Call me if you're feeling clumsy."

I shrug because I don't know what to say. I am this close to breaking down and begging her to stay until tonight but I don't dare. "See you later, Sam." I say, giving her the smile she deserves.

As she walks away and I close the door, a little voice in my head tells me I should change the locks. For a second, I consider it. Trouble is, he'd just break the door down and he'd be even angrier. Better not to make things worse than they already are.

I distract myself from thoughts of tonight with furious scribblings based on my conversations with Sam. I pore over the latest papers and take notes. Soon I'll get to talk to Dr McKay about all this. I have to be prepared. I don't want to look foolish.

Late afternoon, the phone rings. It's the Captain. He won't be home till much later he says. Some training session that he's been invited to attend. He sounds very excited. I shudder as he mentions something about hand-to-hand combat. He doesn't make the connection. I think he sometimes forgets what he's done to me. I don't like the idea of him becoming any more proficient but not having to see him until after midnight sounds extremely appealing. Until he demands that I have a late supper waiting for him when he gets back. He wants tuna mornay and I know why.

I don't want to make it for him. It's one of Dr McKay's favourites. But I have to. I put on cheerful music as I cook and I pretend that I'm making it for Dr McKay. I imagine the look of glee on his face. The man always made such a big deal about food. I continue my imaginings. We'd sit at my cosy kitchen table. Maybe I'd light some candles. We'd talk about physics and he'd tell me about his adventures with much embellishment, highlighting the importance of his role in the tale. Then we'd go for a long walk and he'd complain the entire way. It would be lovely. He'd go to hold my hand and chicken out, so maybe I'd just quietly take his hand in my mine. It would be strong and warm. It'd make me feel safe. Then at my doorway, we'd stop in the moonlight and hesitantly he'd touch my face and…

I drop the can of tuna on the floor in shock. What was I thinking? This was crazy. Was I sort of falling for a guy I hadn't even seen in over a year? That I didn't even particularly like when he was here? So what if I'd noticed in the daily video that his eyelashes were impossibly long and his slate blue eyes could sometimes be so soft. That his nose was an appealing shape. That when he was waffling on and on about random things and wandering off on tangents he was completely adorable? That when he spoke of possibly dying he did so with a sort dignity and courage that I'm not sure he realises he has?

I pick up the tuna. The cat is sniffing at it. I have no idea how she can tell its fish when the can isn't even open.

"I'm going completely insane." I tell her and she meows in answer, sounding like she's agreeing with me. I don't understand these feelings I'm having but they couldn't have come at a worse time. Then again, I have to admit to myself that perhaps this all was beginning long before the Captain arrived in my life. Not that it mattered now. I was stuck with the bastard.

The Captain arrives home at about 1am. He's starving and exhausted. The person running the training session had been brutal apparently. I'm sent for icepacks and painkillers and have to rub anti-inflammatory cream into various aching muscles. He's being a baby but I don't really mind because I actually enjoy seeing him in pain. Plus, he hurts too much to do anything to me.

He goes on and on about what an honour it was to be selected, as he wolfs down the meal I so lovingly prepared (for someone else) without comment or interest. He raves about how the trainer is considered 'a great warrior' and I think that sounds overly dramatic. Apparently he is very high up in 'the program' and the Captain thinks this interest from 'the great warrior' might mean his chances are looking better somehow. I'm just hoping this 'great warrior' didn't teach my vicious boyfriend any new tricks to use on me.

The next few days are heavenly. My boyfriend is working long shifts and double shifts and doing all sorts of training courses. I barely see him and when I do it's usually just to feed him before he collapses into bed. All I have to do is stay quiet and do whatever he asks when he asks and there's no trouble. I have plenty of time during the day while he's away to do my work without being bothered.

I call Sam a couple of times with questions. I've had to leave her messages but she's gotten back to me pretty quickly. She commented on how busy the Captain has been and how I must not have seen much of him the past few days. I start to wonder if she had something to do with it. There is a rather pleased tone in her voice. I'm not certain whether to be offended or grateful for the interference. I decide on grateful.

I'm starting to relax when I get home from the University one afternoon to find the Captain already there. He's not happy. And he has my latest papers from Dr McKay in his hands.

"You're home early." I say carefully.

"Do you know what this is?" He snarls, ignoring my comment.

"Just stuff I'm reading about physics." I reply lamely.

"Don't play dumb with me! I know who you got these from!" He waves the papers menacingly. "You have no idea what he's given you!"

"And you do?" I ask, unable to help myself.

He sneers at me and flips through the pages reading out subjects through gritted teeth, his voice rising in tone and volume as the list continues. "Quantum Mechanics. Experimental Condensed Matter Physics. Theoretical Astroparticle Physics. Cosmology. Stellar Evolution. Astrobiology. Cosmo-planetology. Wormhole theory! Nano-freaking-technology! Unlike you, I know what this all adds up to!"

I stare at him in confusion. I've never thought anything about the subjects Dr McKay had chosen to be adding up to anything other than a fascinating mix of different aspects of physics which have a definite leaning towards the astrophysics side of things. Considering he is an astrophysicist it's not surprising to me at all. Plus all the things he's chosen seems to me to lead on from things I've shown an interest in – either from my pre-McKay work which Professor Quinn sent him or from the assignments of his I'd completed a few weeks ago.

"There is no WAY I'm going to let them shuffle me off to Antarctica while RODNEY FUCKING McKAY grooms his whore to join the program instead of me! NO FUCKING WAY! Do you hear me?"

"Antarctica?" I'm backing away from him. Not that it'll do much good.

"Yes, Antarctica." His voice is as cold as I'd imagine the place to be. "Don't get me wrong, it's not as bad as it sounds – it's sort of an important place. Maybe it's my ticket into the main part of the program. Who knows?"

"You could be right." I respond, encouragingly.

"The thing is… I did some digging. Turns out Colonel Carter arranged my re-assignment. Why would that be?"

"Maybe she thought you were doing a good job?"

He grabs me by the hair, pulling me close to his face. "I think it has something to do with you. I think it has something to do with McKay. And I'm not going to let him have you. You're mine. This physics thing is OVER!"

Shoving me away, he starts tearing up the pages. Not just the papers Dr McKay had sent but all my handwritten notes and work and all the questions I had for Sam and Dr McKay.

"NO! DON'T! PLEASE!" I can hear myself screaming. I throw myself at him trying to rescue my beloved work but I can't get him to stop and soon it's all destroyed. Tears are running down my face as I let go of him and stare at the confetti on the floor. He moves towards me and I'm in too much shock to notice.

"Now, I think it's time I taught you a real lesson." He snarls, the first blow landing on my jaw. I fall backwards over the coffee table. I hear something snap. Several somethings. I hope it's just the table. I feel pain. Lots of it. I don't know where because everything is out of focus and I feel strange. I think someone is knocking on the door. I wonder if it's Sam but it can't be because I forgot to call her to say I was going to be clumsy.

"Mind your own fucking business!" The Captain yells at the door. The person doesn't listen because the door opens. I don't know how. I can't see from where I am. I don't dare move because I hurt so much. I just know that the Captain is yelling and he's fighting with the other person. I hope he doesn't hurt them but I'm just glad that he's not still hitting me.

The fight ends. I really hope the Captain didn't win because I really can't take any more. Breathing is difficult and I don't know if I'm panicking or if I've damaged my ribs further. The winner of the fight comes towards me. Closing my eyes, I want to scream but it's too hard and I'm ready to give in anyway.


	4. Chapter 4

Guess what? Finally it's time for her to be given her name. Tricky Boris had special plans. Thank you all so much for the very kind reviews – means the world to me and keeps me smiling and writing.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A hand touches my shoulder. I don't think it's the Captain's. It's gentle and warm. So is the voice that's attached to it.

"Stephanie? God, are you okay?"

I open my eyes. The figure is blurry but it's him. Finally. "You're here." I whisper.

"I am. Everything is going to be alright, I promise." He's taking out a cellphone and dialling a number.

The person on the other end answers and Dr McKay speaks briskly. "Carson. Need you here immediately in 302. My building. My neighbour's been hurt."

"Who's Carson?" I ask.

"He's a friend of mine. A doctor. He was on his way to pick me up anyway. I just came back for a nap before a bunch of us were going out to dinner."

"Sorry to spoil your plans." I smile weakly.

"Don't you even worry about that." Dr McKay makes another phone call. "General O'Neill. Dr Rodney McKay. An airman under your command just attacked me and my neighbour. Apartment 302 in my building – you can look up the address. He is currently incapacitated…" His chest puffs up a little with pride. "… but I'd appreciate it if you sent some people to get him out of here and deal with him. Thank you so much."

He pockets his phone and turns to me again. "Stephanie, are you in pain?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Where?"

"I don't know." I admit. "I heard some stuff snap or something but I think that was just the coffee table, wasn't it?"

"The coffee table is fine." He says quietly as he snatches up the rug that I keep draped over the back of the couch and tucks it around me. "The cast on your wrist is cracked though."

"Goddamn it." I'm uncomfortable on the floor but I don't dare move. I shift a foot though and find that my shoe must have come off because I can feel the carpet on my bare foot. And the shreds of paper. I start crying.

Dr McKay starts panicking a little, one hand returns to my shoulder and his other hand awkwardly strokes my hair. "Stephanie…. Stephanie, please don't cry. You're safe now."

"He shredded all the papers you sent." I wail.

"They can be reprinted." He assures me.

"But my work can't! All my handwritten notes! I worked so hard and for so long and I was going to show you."

"It's okay. Don't worry about any of that now. All that matters is you're okay. We'll deal with the rest later, alright?"

"Okay." I give in. "Dr McKay?"

"Call me Rodney if you want."

"Okay. Rodney?"

"Yeah?"

"You're here." I wonder at that fact again.

"Yes, I am." He grins.

"Someone missed you." I tell him, smiling. I want to say it was me but I can't get the words out.

He follows my line of sight to where the cat is standing in the doorway to my bedroom. She's as shocked as I've ever seen a cat look. I imagine she was frightened by the fighting and has only come out now having heard her beloved Rodney's voice. She looks like she wants to shake her head to clear it. I imagine she's thinking 'is it really him?'

I love the way his eyes suddenly go soft as he gazes at her. "Hey, Meli." He says in such an affectionate tone that it makes me feel warm inside.

She starts out of her shock then and runs forward, throwing herself at him – making cute little chirpy noises. She's all over him, rubbing herself against him and begging to be petted. He obliges, a small crooked grin on his lips. There is something about his unselfconscious affection for her that makes him seem powerful to me somehow. And very attractive. Obviously shock is setting in.

Melisma is pretending to be over him now. It's plain as day that she's not but she's trying to maintain her dignity for a little while at least. She comes over to me. She's very gentle and steps over me carefully to get to where she can sniff at my face in that kitty-kisses kind of way. She meows at Rodney.

"She's going to be okay, Meli. We'll take care of her."

Someone arrives. I assume it's Carson. Particularly because Rodney says "Hey, Carson."

"Rodney! What's happened here?"

"Stephanie's boyfriend hurt her. I took him out."

"You?" Carson sounds more than surprised.

Rodney sounds offended. "Yes, me!"

"Well done then."

"Thank you."

"Hi, Stephanie." Carson says as he kneels beside me.

Carson has a cool accent. Scottish, I think. He's really nice. He reminds me a little of a younger version of my vet. He has kind eyes.

His gentle hands discover exactly where it is that I hurt the most. My ribs, my head, my jaw and my wrist. Carson is surprised that my plaster cast cracked until I admit that I might have fallen on it several times before already. The two men grimace at each other.

"My dear, we're going to have to get you to a hospital. I think your ribs are fractured and we need to make sure that they're not compromising your lungs. And we need to get your wrist x-rayed again and replastered."

"Does that mean I'm going to have my cast on for even longer?" I frown.

"Probably."

"Goddamn it."

"Stephanie!" Another voice. A woman. It's Sam. Maybe she got the call I never made. She hurries to my side. "Oh my god."

"I was clumsy." I tell her and her lovely eyes look so sad.

"General O'Neill told me what happened." She says to Rodney. "I brought a security detail to remove the bastard."

"He's unconscious in case you hadn't noticed." Rodney sounds smug.

"I did notice." Sam's brow furrowed. "So?"

"I did that."

"Really."

"Yep."

"Good job."

"Thanks."

I don't want to see them take the Captain away. I'm hoping I never see him again. I hear Carson return and tell the others that an ambulance is on the way.

"Stephanie?" Carson notices me close my eyes. "You still with us?"

"Yeah." Tears leak from behind my eyelids. "Unfortunately. Even though I'm too stupid to live."

"Stephanie!" Rodney admonishes. "What did I say last time you said that?"

"That it was completely ridiculous?"

"Exactly." He pauses. "Someone I know called Ronon, on the other hand…"

"Rodney!" Carson chastises him.

"I was kidding!"

"Rodney?" I interrupt their bickering because I remember something.

"Yes?"

"What do all the papers you've set me add up to?"

"What do you mean?"

"He said they all added up to something. That he knew what it meant and I didn't. That it meant you wanted me in the program and not him. I don't understand."

"We can talk about that later. When you're feeling better, okay?" He pauses for a moment. "Is that why I heard him shouting my name before? It's what drew my attention to what was happening in here."

"Yeah. And he thinks you are just using me for sex." If my brain were functioning properly, I so would never have blurted that out. I hear some sniggering coming from the direction of Sam and Carson.

"Excuse me?" Rodney blinks and blushes and coughs. "Wait a minute… does that mean… that the other times he hurt you was because of me too?"

I don't know how to answer that without making it sound like I blame him. And I don't. Not really. Instead I just say. "He was jealous of you. I think you made him feel inferior."

"That wouldn't be hard." Rodney snorts. "He is inferior. And not just to me. He's scum."

"I couldn't agree more." Carson concurs.

"You remind me of the vet I went to." I tell Carson. "The one who said such nice things."

"What nice things?" He asks, smiling.

"That a gentleman that inspires so much devotion in his pet would be a much better companion for a pretty girl like me. That's what he said."

"Sounds like good advice."

"I'm not very pretty now though, am I?" I snicker.

"Don't be silly." Rodney huffs. His look of slight impatience is familiar and comforting. "Wait, what do you mean about the pet devotion thing?"

"You really don't get how much she missed you, Rodney. It started in the afternoons around the time you used to get home. She'd be miserable and wouldn't eat. Eventually she was sad all the time. I even went to an animal psychologist and there was nothing anyone could do. She wouldn't eat much at all. Then the video arrived and she makes me put it on every day. She's doing really well now."

"She makes you put it on?" Rodney is still confused. I think it's both cute and sad that he can't fathom having that much of an effect on another living being.

"Yeah, she'll sit in front of the TV and cry non-stop until I press play."

"Wow. And watching the video makes her happy again? Back to normal?"

"Yeah. I guess she just needed to hear your voice or something."

"That's adorable, Rodney." Carson comments. He seems quite taken by the tale and takes the opportunity to pet the cat in question. She approves.

"When he hit me the first time, Melisma bit him."

She did, did she?" Rodney sounds like a proud parent.

"Yeah and then he kicked her." Fresh tears drip from my eyes. "But the vet said she was fine. After that I swear I never let him touch her again. I swear!"

"It's okay, Stephanie. It's not your fault." Rodney's fingers tentatively wipe the tears from my cheeks. I'm reminded of my earlier fantasy where we were standing in the moonlight on my doorstep and he touched my face.

"You're here." I say to him yet again, reaching out my good hand towards him. He takes it, looking bemused. "Finally… you're here."

I feel so very tired. I think the pain is easing or maybe I'm just getting used to it. Or maybe I just can't feel it any more because I'm feeling so very strange and floaty. Breathing seems difficult yet I don't even care. It doesn't seem to matter any more. Nothing does. Except the hand in mine. I feel happy because I'm holding it. I think that maybe someone has dimmed the lights in the room. Or maybe it's me who is dimmed.

"Rodney…" I whisper, trying to keep hold of his hand but I feel so weak. "Meli wasn't the only one who missed you."

"Really, who else was there?" He asks. Completely clueless.

"Me, you idiot." I want to laugh at how surprised he looks. My eyes start to close. I can't stop them. My voice wavers. "I missed you."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hope you liked! Btw, 'the great warrior' is Teal'c as the Atlantis expedition had not yet returned to Earth at that point. This sequel is set after "Letters From Pegasus" and this trip home is the one just after "The Siege Pt 3". They won't meet Ronon until just after they get back to Pegasus. :) I'm not sure when/if Stephanie will meet Teal'c etc (that's up to Boris) so I thought I'd make that clearer now. Also, as you can see in this chapter, McKay did win the fight but I'm pretty sure it was more luck – and perhaps a little training by Shep - than anything else. Heehee.

Edit: I'm an idiot! Haha McKay mentions Ronon in this chapter. So we'll just pretend that they did meet Ronon before they left to come back to Earth after the siege, okay? Okay. (canon, what canon? LOL)


	5. Chapter 5

Hey! Thanks for not forgetting about this fic – things have been crazy busy at work with the end of year etc and also Boris (my writing demon within) has been on holiday or hibernating or something.

Just in response to some comments – thanks for all of those by the way:

The last section might have seemed a bit rushed or lacking detail or whatever but that was because my narrator was in severe shock and had a head injury so that's why everything was sort of vague and less thoughtful on her part. Since it's from her point of view she wasn't exactly aware of all the subtleties.

I'm not sure I see Rodney as being particularly suave - he's just saying cliché obvious reassuring things to an injured person and he's kinda freaked that she's crying. Maybe I didn't describe it very well hehe.

Rodney's not going to be snarky with her (because she's injured and hot) but perhaps in future chapters with other people I might be allowing him to release his snark. Maybe even a little in this chapter hehe.

As for the timeframe… obviously Stephanie doesn't know what's going on so it's hard to pinpoint for you in the fic that well… so basically we know that sometime during her relationship with the Captain she is told by him that McKay and Co survived the danger that McKay spoke of in the video (which was the Siege) so the emails etc she got from McKay after that were sent via the Stargate powered by the new ZPM - which Atlantis was given during the Siege. I am assuming that the time between the Siege (end of season one, beginning of season two) and them returning to Earth via the Stargate using the ZPM (early season two) was maybe a couple of months, maybe less, but long enough for McKay to send a few emails now they have regular contact with Earth.

I hope that explains everything a little better. :) Thanks again for the feedback!

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There are voices. The pain is gone. I'm feeling quite comfortable and drowsy. I realise that I don't know where I am and I suddenly feel anxious. What if the Captain is here? I concentrate on the voices.

"I understand that you feel responsible for her, Rodney, but be serious." A woman's voice. Not one I recognise.

"I am being serious!" He replies in agitated tones. "I want to take her back with us. Where I can keep her safe."

"She will be safe now that the man who was abusing her is locked up."

"You don't understand, Elizabeth! Before I left, she was seeing some other asshole. I could hear him screaming at her every now and then. I thought it wasn't my business. What if he was hitting her as well and I did nothing?"

"It's not your fault, Rodney. Not then and not now."

"But the current guy beat her because he thought she and I were…" He breaks off. "Obviously that's ridiculous. She doesn't even like me that much. I don't know why the bastard got that idea into his head."

"Come now, Rodney." It's Carson. Man, his accent is so cool. "She said she missed you."

"Well, she had a head injury at the time." Rodney insists. "Look, I'm just saying… she's gonna end up with us or with Carter sometime in the future anyway… why not now?"

"She hasn't even started her PhD." The woman referred to as Elizabeth points out. "If this all hadn't happened, would you be looking at recruiting her yet?"

"No." He huffs. "I was figuring I'd wait until maybe halfway through her second PhD. Or maybe sooner. Depends on how she goes and what she's interested in doing."

"There you go then."

"Besides, who would look after your cat if you were both elsewhere?" Carson reminds him.

"I just…" Rodney sighs. "I want to make sure she's okay."

"She'll be fine." Elizabeth assures him. "Colonel Carter is going to make sure of it."

"Stephanie is so brilliant and she doesn't even realise it. I find it fascinating. I mean I've never doubted my genius."

"We know." Carson sighs.

"But she does all the time. Doubts her worth. Doubts her intelligence. It drives me insane. If someone doesn't do something, then all she has to offer will go to waste and that would be completely unacceptable."

"You are doing something, Rodney." I can hear the smile in Elizabeth's voice. "You're being a mentor to her. And I can't think of a better person to do that."

"I can. Lots of people." Carson disagrees but I can tell he doesn't mean it.

"She's really going to be okay?" Rodney asks quietly.

"Yes, Rodney." Carson tells him. "The broken ribs will heal on their own. Her wrist is now re-set and replastered. Her concussion is under control now and her jaw is just bruised."

"And you know the SGC will make sure she's looked after." Elizabeth adds.

"What? After they let a psycho slip through the cracks? I can't believe he even made it to the SGC! God help everyone if he'd made it onto a team." Rodney sounds like he might be building up to a rant.

"Rodney…"

"No! They all thought they were sooo clever, didn't they? Keeping him working long hours and tiring him out with stupid training exercises. Big freaking deal! It didn't stop him wailing on her the second he was told he was being shipped out to Antarctica! Carter should have told me the second she knew Stephanie was in trouble!" His voice is ragged. "Instead what was I doing? I was taking a bloody nap!"

"Naps help stop you being so cranky all the time." I hear myself say.

"Stephanie!" He rushes to my side, I feel him fumbling for my hand. "You're awake. Thank god."

"Only just." I tell him, frowning as he puts my hand back on the bed. "Why did you let go?"

"Oh… I didn't know if it was appropriate." He mumbles. "If you'd want…"

"Can you please hold my hand?"

"Why?" He coughs. "I mean… I can do that."

His hand is just the way I imagined it in my fantasy. I know he's leaving soon. I don't know when. I don't want him to go but I know he will. I know because of the things he said in the video. He's finally found his place in the world and it's not here in Colorado. Not in America even.

"Can you take frozen goods back with you to wherever you are going?" I ask him suddenly. "And they can be kept frozen at your destination? And will you be allowed to take some stuff with you?"

"Yes to all of the above, how come?"

"You'll see." I smile.

He raises an intrigued eyebrow. "Speaking of mysteries, how many McKay minions does it take to do a jigsaw puzzle?"

"Huh?"

"The answer is six. The length of time… who cares? They're minions."

"I'll say it again… huh?"

He fumbles for his jacket pocket. The task is made slightly more difficult because I refuse to give him his hand back but he manages to unfold the piece of paper that he takes out. He's holding it up for me to read. He's grinning like he just found the cure for cancer. As far as I'm concerned he's gone one better.

"Oh my god." My eyes well up. "I can't believe you did that."

"Technically I just ordered minions to do it but you're welcome. The rest is being worked on as we speak."

It's a page of my handwritten notes. Meticulously put back together and taped up.

"It was good training for them. They have to know what you were talking about in your notes to put it back together properly."

"Come here." I tell him.

"Where?" He asks.

"Goddamn it, McKay!" I sigh. "I can't come to you. My freaking ribs are fractured. I want to hug you."

"Oh. Are you sure?"

"Stop spoiling the moment, Rodney." Elizabeth grins.

"Oh. Yes. Right. Sorry." He lets go of my hand and rather awkwardly leans close to me. "I don't want to hurt you."

"It's okay." I tell him. Without moving off the bed, I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer. I'm careful not to hurt him with my cast. He smells really good. Like food. Something yummy.

I want to squeeze him so hard. I want him to wrap his arms around me too. That can't happen right now though because of my stupid ribs. I make do with just being able to hold him for a moment.

Before he can pull away – and I know he will any moment because he will think he should – I take the opportunity to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. His startled eyes meet mine and I'm reminded once again of how long his eyelashes are. I smile. He smiles back sort of shyly.

Behind him, I notice Carson and Elizabeth back gently out of the room. They're smiling.


	6. Chapter 6

"When do you go back?" I ask him quietly. I take possession of his hand again before he can think about it.

"Depends on how the various members of my team go with their recruiting drives. I'm almost done – the piecing together of your notes is their last test. Maybe a week. Maybe two at most."

"And will you come back here sometimes?"

"Not often. I'm kind of needed there." For once he doesn't sound like he's bragging. "Getting here is quicker than getting back. Don't ask me to explain that, by the way."

"Don't worry. I know a lot of stuff is classified. I won't ask you to explain anything you can't."

"What I mean is getting back here is easier now than it was." He says carefully. "One day we hope the trip back there will be easier as well. Then the whole journey here and back will be less of a hassle. Maybe then I'll be able to visit more regularly."

"I'd like that."

"You would?"

"I would." I smile softly at him. He's so bewildered.

"Is this some sort of transference thing?" He suggests.

"What?"

"You know, like when a patient is so grateful to her doctor that she develops like… maybe… feelings… that she might not have had if he hadn't… you know… saved her life."

"Rodney…" I sigh. "Can't I just like you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

He waves his free arm at me. "Because you're… so…"

"What?"

"Hot." He finishes. He sighs heavily. "You didn't exactly… um… warm to me when we were neighbours, did you?"

"Rodney, the main reason is because I got so defensive when you'd lecture me. I thought that you thought that I was stupid."

"I never thought that!" He replies a little too quickly.

"Maybe a little bit?"

"Well, not stupid as such…" He admits.

I grin. "The thing is, once I got over my insecurities and looked back on all the times that I thought you had insulted me I realised that your intentions were good. You're a good man, Rodney."

He's quiet and it's not often that Rodney and quiet have anything to do with each other. He's looking at our hands, which are still joined.

"I'm not asking anything of you." I tell him. "Except for you to be my thesis advisor and to let me continue learning all I can from you. And maybe just to spend some time with you before you leave. Not just to talk about physics."

"I think that could be arranged." He mumbles, blushing slightly.

"And who knows…" I smile cheekily. "Sometime during my second PhD… maybe we'll have a chance to spend a lot more time together."

He looks at me with wide eyes. Then he shrugs. "By then, it's possible you'll know the full story about what I'm doing. Maybe you'll choose somewhere else."

"Maybe." I agree. "Maybe you won't even recruit me in the end."

"Oh, I'll try." He smirks. "And knowing which areas fascinate you the most, I know you'll want in."

"So, you're guiding me in the direction of a career I know nothing about but I have to trust that you know it's the right path for me."

"Pretty much." He admits.

"I can do that."

"You can?"

"You sound surprised."

"That you trust me?" He asks, standing up and beginning to pace a little. "I mean I know I've probably never given you any reason not to – apart from the not being able to tell you anything about where I've been or what I'm doing… but men in general haven't been so good to you and… well, I suppose you're not thinking of me that way as such… more like a mentor-student thing so it's totally different…"

"Rodney." I interrupt his ramblings.

"Yes?"

"You're really sweet."

"No, actually… I'm really not." He insists.

"I'd have to agree with that." Another voice enters the conversation. A man.

The newcomer is tall and rather attractive. His dark hair sort of sticks up in places, which gives him a rumpled roguish air. I notice immediately the sultry eyes and languid way he wanders into the room. The lazy grin he shoots at Rodney. He's lean but muscled – he's wearing a tight t-shirt and his exposed arms are extremely pleasant to the eye.

"Hey." He catches sight of me and he seems to brighten in that way guys do when they find someone attractive. I can feel my cheeks flushing.

I glance at Rodney and there's a sort of resignation in his features. I've seen it before so many times in clubs. The look a guy gets when their alpha male friend swoops in and distracts the girl they've been trying to get close to.

The thing is, although Rodney's friend is totally the kind of guy I'd usually be interested in, it seems that recent events have put a new perspective on the way I look at men. The way I know now that I need to look before jumping into relationships without thinking. Now I look at this guy and I see his natural charm but I also think there might be a certain guardedness about him. Like he wouldn't let people close that easily.

"You gonna introduce us, Rodney?" The guy flashes a rakish grin in my direction again and I feel a certain flutter within. He's a heartbreaker for sure. The worst kind – the kind that never means to hurt you. The kind you can never really have.

Rodney huffs and waves his hand between us half-heartedly. "Stephanie, this is Lt. Colonel John Sheppard. Sheppard, this is my neighbour, Stephanie."

"Stephanie." Colonel Sheppard rolls my name around in his mouth, seemingly liking the sound of it. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise, Colonel."

"You can call me John." His gaze is somehow casually intimate.

"Okay, John." I smile even though I'm slightly disgusted how easily I'm slipping into flirt mode when faced with this type of man. It's like a disease. Not that flirting is such a bad thing but I feel like I really need to re-evaluate the way I do things.

He smiles back and slides easily forward to sit down on the bed next to me. "So, how are you doing?"

"Oh my god!" Rodney blurts.

"What?" John looks mystified.

"You're unbelievable!"

"What'd I do?"

"The woman just got beaten up by her boyfriend and you're hitting on her?" Rodney waves his arms around, slipping so easily into his defensive rant mode.

"Rodney…" John looks decidedly uncomfortable now.

"No, no! Don't mind me! Carry on!" Rodney starts for the door but then turns back and walks over to John again. "You can't restrain the Kirk within for five minutes, can you? Five minutes!"

"Rodney, you're being ridiculous…" John's ears are turning red now and he is definitely avoiding eye contact with me.

"Oh, I'm ridiculous now? Well, thank you very much. I'm not going to stand here and be insulted!" With that Rodney whirls and stomps out of the room dramatically.

"Sorry about that." John coughs quietly, still not meeting my gaze. "You know how he gets sometimes."

I stare at him.

"What?" He shifts uneasily.

"Make him come back." I whisper.

"What?" He says again, looking bewildered.

I have suddenly realised that I am alone with some guy I don't know. A military guy. All lazy smile and easy charm. Maybe he is a decent guy – but maybe not. I thought the Captain was a good guy when I met him. What did I know?

My throat feels like it is closing up. Adrenaline suddenly floods my system.

"Hey, are you okay?" John puts a worried hand on my leg.

The coiled up panic inside me unleashes with abandonment. Without a conscious decision to do so, I am suddenly screaming Rodney's name.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm back! With more fic! Sorry for keeping you waiting. Boris has me working on so many projects at the same time – including in particular a whole new SG fic involving yet another female OC who I hope people will like. My lovely friend, Mysfyt, won't let me post that one on ffnet until it's finished though. This new section of 'Suddenly Rodney' is longish so hopefully that makes up in a small way for how long it has been. Thank you all so much for your reviews and support. I'm really, really glad that you like Stephanie as much as I do. I know it's a big thing to take a chance on an OC - but I just can't stop writing them:) I also forgot to mention that I was really pleased that someone thought my characterisation of Sam was good. I've always felt I had trouble writing her compared to the others so that was cool. Thanks.

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Rodney is back in seconds. "What the hell did you do to her?" He yells at John.

"Nothing! I swear." John leaps off the bed, his hands held up in surrender.

"Stephanie?" Rodney places an awkward hand on my shoulder. "What did he do?"

"Nothing, nothing." I try to regain control of my breathing – and what is left of my dignity. "Just having a minor freak out. Sorry."

To compound my embarrassment, Carson and Elizabeth return as well.

"What is going on in here?" Carson asks, as he moves swiftly to my side to test my racing pulse. He's pissed. "Who has been distressing my patient?"

"I think it was me." John raises his hand sheepishly. "But I don't know how."

"How about because you're an ass?" Rodney suggests.

"Hey!"

"Enough." Elizabeth holds up a weary hand. "You two bickering is not helping Stephanie."

"So, what upset you, my dear?" Carson asks gently.

"I was just… sort of… um… all of a sudden scared to be alone with someone I didn't know." I blush profusely. It sounds so stupid. "No offence…"

"Oh, none taken." But John looks a bit hurt and I feel bad.

"No, no, no... it's not you!" I insist desperately. "My head is just all messed up. I don't even trust myself anymore."

"I'm such an IDIOT!" Rodney suddenly blurts out, slapping himself in the head. "I should have realised. I'm so sorry, Stephanie. I shouldn't have left."

The three other people in the room look surprised that the word sorry came out of Dr Rodney McKay's mouth and frankly I'm a bit stunned too but then it has been a rather crazy day.

"Just hold my hand again, doofus." I tell him, smiling softly. "And we'll call it even."

"You really want me to stay?"

"If you have time... yes, I really do."

"I have time." He says very quietly and takes my hand again. With less fumbling this time.

"I'll go get you some food, Rodney." John flashes a grin at me and I'm surprised that I can see genuine caring for Rodney in his eyes. Like he's touched that I also care for Rodney. Or something. "The man can't function without at least nine meals a day."

I smile because I used to cook most of them. So many tupperware containers that I used to tuck away in his freezer. I'd forgotten how he'd always return them clean. Why had I forgotten that? Of course, maybe they were just licked clean. I giggled.

"Yes, well I am hypoglaecemic after all..." Rodney protests huffily.

"We know, Rodney!" All three speak at once and grin at each other and it's almost like I can feel this bond between the four of them. Like they're a family. I don't feel left out. It's just nice. I wonder what they've been through together – off in this classified far away location. This place that I might one day get to go to.

I drift off and awake later from a crazy dream. Rodney's comment about John being like Kirk must have stuck in my mind because in the dream he was Kirk. And Rodney had Carson's accent and was saying that you 'kenna change the laws o' physics' and Carson was complaining that he was a doctor not a miracle worker. Then Rodney was screaming that he was a genius and Sam was screaming back that she was smarter than him and it all degraded into hair pulling. I wake with an urge to giggle.

"What?" Rodney asks, seeing me grinning at him. He has a burrito half way to his mouth.

"Nothin'." I reply. "Eat your food before you pass out."

"You want some?" He asks, holding it in my direction. Some lettuce flies out onto the bed and he hastily picks it up.

"I'm fine, thanks."

We start to talk about physics and he is so not a patient teacher. Already he's starting to rant and rail but I don't mind. Sometimes I think he just likes yelling for the sake of it. Besides he's yelling about the education system in America rather than my abilities or lack thereof. If he even starts to look like he might be attacking my knowledge or theories then I pretend that my head kinda hurts and he immediately is conciliatory. Of course, that won't work when I'm better but I'm sure I'll think of other tricks to get him to listen to me properly.

I guide the conversation so that he ends practically giving a lecture on his favourite areas. That way I'm both learning good things and I also get to watch that excited gleam in his eyes. Every now and then he seems to catch himself. Probably to avoid wandering into whatever territory is deemed classified. I find myself really looking forward to the day when I can sit and listen for hours as he tells me what he's been up to all this time. Not just the physics side of things but everything else. For now I'm just happy with this.

Carson lets me go home the next day and it's not till I'm being wheeled towards the front door – Rodney driving because he says John can't be trusted not to speed – that I realise that it's a military hospital I've been in. Not that it matters – except that I'm extremely relieved because during the check-out it is explained to me that all the costs are being covered by the Air Force. I do have a bit of health insurance thanks to Rodney's 'scholarship' money – and I've needed it in recent times more often than I like to think about – but it's still a relief because not everything is covered in my limited policy. I can't help but be extremely frugal with how much of his money I spend on myself. Especially since I still intend to pay it all back someday – no matter what he says.

John and Rodney are taking me back to my place. Carson says he can't come along as he is still busy recruiting medical people. Or 'soft scientists' as Rodney snorts derisively. Carson glares fiercely but clearly this has all been said before – taunts and teasing like between siblings with no real malicious intent.

A very painful car ride later – broken ribs are not fun – the two men have me bundled up on my lounge with so many pillows and blankets that I'm likely to suffocate. My ribs, however, are beautiful supported and I feel very comfortable. They're both fussing over me like mother hens which I'm finding terribly amusing – especially considering they keep bickering along the way.

Melisma is delighted with the avalanche of bedding piled around me and it is clear that she is going to spend a very long time exploring it, finding just the right spot to nestle into.

"Watch your tail, woman!" Rodney huffs at her as the cat turns and nearly hits me in the face. She stops what she's doing and seems to raise an eyebrow at her master. I giggle – carefully, because of my ribs – and not liking the 'ground' shaking under her paws, Melisma decides to move on to another part of the mountain of pillows.

John flops down into a nearby lounge chair with a cup of coffee. Melisma immediately abandons me to wind herself around his legs before jumping up on his lap. With barely an acknowledging pat from him she puts her paws up on his chest and starts nuzzling his neck. John looks uncomfortable and awkwardly tries to get her to settle in his lap instead. Funny how cats seem to especially love people who aren't that into them. Rodney mutters something about Kirk under his breath as he tucks into a very large sandwich that he's made himself.

John switches on some kind of sports game – I'm totally not interested but the sound is low so I don't mind. Rodney is pouring over some more of my repaired notes that were delivered to the hospital before we left. Checking the work of his potential minions. He is muttering irritably to himself.

"Moron! This is all wrong." He grumbles.

I know it's not my work that is wrong. I'm pretty sure it's not but my chest tightens with concern.

"Has the brainless idiot never done a jigsaw before? The pieces don't even match properly." He waves the paper at me – it does look a bit lopsided. "Even Zelenka would work out that you clearly wrote the equation the other way around…. Woah." His voice trails off and he stands up, still mesmerised by the page.

"What?" John and I both ask. Me more interested than John of course.

"Is this how you wrote it?" Rodney finally lets me see the mended page, the surface crisscrossed with what must be a least a whole roll of tape.

I study the equation. "No, it was the other way around. Like you said, if you switch these bits the page would be the right shape."

"So Stephanie's original work was right though, wasn't it?" John asks.

"Absolutely. Brilliant for her level but yes, the standard equation."

"And now?" John presses as I continue staring at the page trying to work out what Rodney has seen. My brain hurts just looking at the sequence being all messed around as it was. To me it just looks wrong – almost nonsensical.

"And now…" Rodney is practically dancing, waving his arms around with a gleam in his eyes. Then he looks at me and his face falls. "Now, it's classified."

"But it's a good discovery, isn't it?" I smile, showing him I'm not upset that he can't tell me. "The guy will get the job?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Even though, I doubt he even really knows what he's done exactly beyond the equation itself. However, the application of this new algarhythm… well, all I can say is that I can use it in really cool ways!" His grin is back.

"But Stephanie will still get some credit, right?" John insists. "Even if she won't know the application right now?"

"Why would I get credit for writing out a standard equation?" I laugh. I am totally not worried about credit. I am just excited that Rodney is excited and that I am in a very small way a part of what must be quite the discovery. One day I do hope to find out the details but I'm not in a hurry.

"Well, your name would be mentioned in any papers that were published regarding this…" His voice trails off.

"…but there won't be any papers because it's classified." I finish for him.

"Sorry." Rodney mumbles.

"Oh, I don't care about credit." I tell him and Rodney looks horrified. That is like blasphemy to him so I amend my original statement. "At the moment. And clearly it's not warranted in this case anyway so it's all good."

Rodney seems appeased.

"I assume I can still keep my page though?" I ask, worriedly.

"Absolutely. I have a copy already."

"Will I understand this equation with time? Or does it need practical experience in classified things to make sense?"

"If you treat it as theoretical then yes, I think you will puzzle it out over time." Rodney muses. "We can work on it as an exercise long term if you like."

"That'd be great." My mind refuses to ignore the spinning theories in my head over what types of practical application this type of physics could be put to but that way leads madness. Best not to dwell on such things until that time came. Best to be content with what I have now. That was more than enough to work with.

I can't wipe the smile from my face. I am free. No longer having any demands on my time besides the pursuit of my studies. No longer having to hide what I am doing at all. Professor Quinn will be so pleased. He loved going through Rodney's work with me. I think he finds it quite stimulating compared to the more pedestrian (in comparison) work being done at the university.

Considering the work Rodney was giving me would be a great deal below what he himself was doing – all that classified stuff – no, I won't think about that. I will just concentrate on my studies. One step at a time. So far to go but what a journey! And access to Rodney was like a super-fast track to a strange and fascinating unknown destination – one that few of my peers would ever reach. How did my luck change so drastically? How did I get this lucky?

"Gah!" John interrupts my wonderings, holding up his arms as if he is fending something off. "I'm caught in a geekwave! Stop it, you two!"

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Let me know what you think. :)


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